You’re Not Alone
"The Castle" written in big italic golden letters on the black graphite nameplate. How beautiful it looks. After so many prolonged discussions we’d decided this name for our newly built bungalow, two years back, before getting married.
The memories of the day are still fresh when I came here after marriage. It was lavishly adorned with colorful flowers, illuminated with countless lights. Two years have bygone. It still looks marvelous.
I close my eyes. Some images appear. I’m wearing a red saree with matching golden blouse. My wrists are filled with red bangles. Intricate heena design is applied on my palms till my forearm. There are silver anklets in my legs. The tinkling sounds of bangles and my laughter are adding melody in the air. I’m running down the white marble stairs. He is running after me to catch me. He is just a few steps away. I turn back and tease him by waving his childhood pic, in which he is wearing a pink frock and hat. He is looking cute. I laugh. He is reaching closer to me. I run faster. The open pallu of my saree struck in my heels. I panic.
‘Isha baby, be careful.’ He shouts from behind, concerned.
I can’t run now. He runs faster. He catches me. He snatches his pic from my hand. I frown. He laughs.
‘Awww my sugar candy.’ He teases.
‘Huh..’ I make an angry face. Though I am not angry at all. I can’t ever get angry at him. He is a sweetheart.
‘My angry angel.’ He kisses my cheek.
‘You’re so bad.’ I say, without changing my expression.
‘Am I?’ He winks.
‘Yes, you are.’ I say, suppressing my smile.
‘Okay let me show you how bad I am?’ He looks into my eyes, gripping my hands in his. He bents towards me. My heart starts racing furiously.
‘Stop…’ I shriek. I raise my hand to push him.
My hand hungs in the air.
He isn’t here. I open my eyes, coming back to the reality. Where is he? I wander to the length and breadth of home. He isn’t anywhere. Where has he gone so early in the morning? He must be at our terrace garden. I think. I go to check him.
There he is, sitting on the swing. Our favorite place. The same swing where we’d spent many mornings, sipping coffee together and countless nights holding each other in arms.
Our four months old daughter Aaisha is sleeping peacefully in his lap. He loves Aaisha so much. I still remember the day when he heard the news of my pregnancy, he was on cloud nine. He always wanted a daughter. We’d decided we’ll name our daughter Aaisha. Combination of the initials of Aarav and Isha. He was so happy when Aaisha was born and I was happy to see him happy. Memorable days.
He is sitting silently. Coffee mug and newspaper are resting on the front table. He isn’t reading newspaper today. His coffee has gone cold. He is looking blankly at the red roses. He seems lost.
I observe him from a distance.
He still looks as handsome as he looked two years back when I first saw him. My mind recalls the past days.
I stare at him. His chisel shaped, perfectly carved face with slight stubble looks adorable. His light brown eyes add charm to his magnificent personality. His smile has the power to melt even a stone heart. But today his eyes didn’t look like before. They look puffy and sleep deprived. Dark circles under his eyes have lessened the charm of his face. His face didn’t look bright. I can’t recall when did he smile last time. His smile is missing. He isn’t taking his meals on time from four months. He looks low and sick.
He’s constantly gazing at the red roses we’d planted together. Aaisha is holding his index finger in her tiny fragile fingers, while asleep. They both love each other.
A gush of cold air passes. His hair ruffle. He’s wearing a white Van Heusen shirt with cobalt blue jeans. It suits him so well. I always loved his dressing sense. He looks at the watch. It’s the same Rolex watch I gifted him on our first month anniversary after marriage. He liked it so much. In return he promised me that he would always wear this watch. It would make him feel my presence around him. He still remembers his promise. I feel happy. I love the way he never forgets his promises. I love the way he remembers even the smallest of details about us. I love him. I love everything about him.
He stands up making Aaisha rest on his shoulder, taking care that her sleep doesn’t disturb. He goes down to our bedroom. I follow him. He lays down Aaisha in her cradle and kisses her forehead. He walks and sits comfortably on the bed.
‘Isn’t he going office today? It’s his office time.’ I think.
He picks up the photo frame kept at nearby bedside table under the lampshade. It has a collage of our wedding and honeymoon pictures. He holds it in between his both palms.
Tears trickle down his eyes.
He’s crying.
‘Should I go and apologize to him? I can’t see him crying.’ I say to myself.
I walk inside the room. I stand in front of him. He doesn’t notice.
‘I’m sorry.’ I whisper.
He doesn’t hear.
‘I’m really sorry Aarav.’ I say again. This time a little louder.
He still doesn’t move.
The flow of tears increases.
‘Why don’t you listen to me honey?’ I ask and put my hand tenderly on his shoulder. My hand dropped.
I start crying. Copious tears run down to my cheeks.
He’s too busy in crying to notice me.
I wipe his tears. His tears continue to flow.
I try again. I try to cup his face in my palms but they collapse with each other.
He’s still crying. Tears are pouring like rain.
Seeing him cry makes me cry even more.
I don’t give up. I try to wipe his tears one more time. They’re not wiped. My fingers run smoothly in the air. I can’t touch him. He can’t feel my touch. The realization hurts me. I apologize again.
‘I am sorry Aarav, I died after giving birth to Aaisha due to excessive bleeding. I’m sorry I left you alone. I couldn’t fulfill my promise to be with you forever. I’m sorry I can’t take care of you as I promised. I’m sorry for all the hard times you’d to face alone. I’m sorry for making you cry.’
‘Why did you leave me alone Isha? Why? I miss you.’ He whispers, sobbing.
‘Aarav, I’m here. So close to you. I’ll be with you always. I know you can’t listen to me but I want to say I love you. I’ll love you forever. You’re not alone.’ I say, crying my heart out.
I stand there beside him while he sits with his head buried in his hands. He is sobbing. I’m not able to wipe his tears. I cry with him. I’ll never leave him alone. My soul will always be with him.
❤KaNyA
Comments